Learning Intention: To use paragraphs to make my writing clearer

To use adverbs to make my writing more powerful

  Courageously in the daylight hours of the sunniest summer day outstanding Olivia was exploring the caves on Whananaki beach, she was the best wild life explorer on earth.

She had explored wild life for about 8 years, now she was 16 when she started working.

    Outstanding Olivia was about 1 meter away from a tiny cave when she heard a snapping noise in the massive cave beside her.

She decided to explore in she walked more and more and more till she found a small river,

Then all of a sudden something big moved something green something scaly!!!!

    The thing in the river jumped out at Olivia!!

    She ran for her life!!

Then she bravely turned to see what was chasing her it was...

 a CROCODILE!!!!!

    Anxiously outstanding Olivia sprinted she turned around again she didn’t look where she was going then all of a sudden she ran smack into the wall of the cave, down she fell it seemed that she was bungee jumping off the sky tower she had fainted.

    Early the next morning outstanding Olivia could faintly hear the footsteps of the crocodile. She thought I thought crocodiles ate people?

      Outstanding Olivia quietly stood up cuffing her hands on her head.

    Then out of nowhere the crocodile came back outstanding Olivia stood there like a statue, up came the crocodile closer closer and closer then he started pulling her out of the cave.

“That’s different” thought outstanding Olivia!

“You’re a nice crocodile” Outstanding Olivia said outstanded

    I think that I’ll take you to the wild life resort and there you can see loads of people, you can have some cool friends your name will be Crocy.

    He nodded with happiness!!!!

Crocy had many friends and lived for a long time!!!

   

The Journey to Tasmania

Learning Intention: To use adverbs in my writing to make it more powerful
Learning Intention: To use paragraphs to make my writing clearer.


It all started when two friends called Humble Hannah and Outstanding Olivia agreed to do a project together about Tasmania. They were going on a trip there with their year.

While they were on the airplane Humble Hannah was trying to get to sleep. But as she was sleeping ….”Wake up!” Outstanding Olivia shouted “we’re there!” Suddenly Humble Hannah woke. “Just as I was having my best dream,” Said Humble Hannah friendly.

“We are now landing,” Called our teacher Mr Ross.

By now we had landed and we were finding our cabins. “Hello and welcome to Tasmania.”The pilot greeted us.                                                              

Mr Ross yelled “go find your cabins they will have your names on them and that would be who your cabin buddies are for this trip.”They found their first and they were sharing with Ethan and Riley the two weirdo’s in their class.

Outstanding Olivia and Humble Hannah now decided to go for a walk, but first they had to tell Mr Ross. After they had told him where they were going, they scurried off to the park. But as they were about to reach the park.

 "Aaaaaaaaagggggggggggghhh," Outstanding Olivia yelled.

 Humble Hannah screamed too! Outstanding Olivia was being chased by a ZEBRA and a RHINO! She had been chased for at lest 1 hour by now and she had lost them.She was terribly injured.She was lonely. Meanwhile, Humble Hannah was trying to look for Outstanding Olivia. But Outstanding Olivia was a long way away.

Carefully Outstanding Olivia walked into a cave. It was dark and quiet, her foot steps echoed as she walked further and further into the cave.Suddenly she went smack! into something."Oh my gosh!"she screamed. There standing before her was a WIZARD! "I must only grant one wish,"said the wizard quietly."I wish," she began, "I wish that I will go back to Humble Hannah and we will safely fly home."

Bang! and just like that she was with Humble Hannah. "how did you get here?" Humble Hannah asked. "Long story," Outstanding Olivia replied. Kindly Humble Hannah helped Outstanding Olivia up and they started to walk back to they cabin were everyone was sleeping.

"You should get a good sleep tomorrow we will be leaving," said Humble Hannah. "How come?" asked Outstanding Olivia. "Because I told Mr Ross, and he decided that the trip was too dangerous so he canned the project," whispered Humble Hannah. "Okay then, good night," whispered Outstanding Olivia. "Good night" whispered Humble Hannah back.                        

The End. By Lahne Scrivener.